Friday, September 17, 2010

Mother of the Bride Speech - September 11, 2010

I am going to do my best to recall the words I had spoken the evening of the wedding.  Mom has trouble hearing and so she missed 99% of what I said.  It was an emotional time and moment, but here it is as I recall:

"I'd like to first thank the Sigler's for all they have done to make this day perfect.  You can see from flowers to flashlights, that every bit was planned with so much love and commitment to this union.

I'd like to thank my mom and Frank for being here today.  They had been saving for a big 25th anniversary splurge, but had no trouble deciding it would be to come here.  They have always supported Chavala over the years.

I'd also like to thank my brother for flying out, Chavala's 'Uncle Renny'.  Thank you for taking the time to be here today.

Special thanks also goes to our family friend Julie Buxton, from Burton on Trent for making a 4 hour train trip to share this moment with our family.

I'd like to thank the Constable family for also making it this long way from the Saffron Walden area.  They played a very big role in Chavala's life as they looked after her while she finished out her 6th form and our family is very appreciative.

I'd especially like to thank my husband Matthew for being so supportive and ensuring that we could be here today.  He has been so patient and loving and has also learned to drive on the left hand side of the road using a left hand clutch on tiny little roads (lots of laughter here) making sure we are all where we should be when  we should be.

I recently heard an elderly lady state, The next generation should always be better than the one before it.  I couldn't help being touched by this, as it is something I have always believed to be true and strive for in my life.

When thinking about what I wanted to say today, I reflected on 2 significant memories the day Chavala was born.  The first significant memory being the moment I held her in my arms for the first time -- and the overwhelming change in priorities that suddenly shift as you find that from that moment and in an instant the only important thing in the world is the well being and protection of this child.  An overwhelming determination just takes hold of your heart to do all you possibly can to give the very BEST to this child.

It was then I realized that 9 months of pregnancy wasn't just about cells multiplying and creating a human being, but in it's own sly way -- this time was used to change my own inward make up and chemistry -- changing a simple woman...into a full fledged mother.  And being a mother has truly been a blessing and a privilege.

The second, significant memory I recall was that my mother held Chavala in her arms shortly after she was born.  And I remember hearing her say, "Look Chimene, look at her eyes.  They are so big and so black, and so alert...

Chavala was born with big eyes.  Most babies have to grow into their head, but Chavala had to grow into her eyes.  However, it is memorable because I believe that moment set the pace for her life -- because her eyes have continued to stay big, and open and alert...

Bumps in the road come into our lives, and their importance is very significant because they serve to place us in a time of humility so that we can more fully focus and envision what it is that we truly need in our lives to be happy.  

But when you are a parent, watching your own child go though these bumpy times -- it is very painful to witness.  Chavala had some bumpy, sharp edges that she has had to pass over and the funny thing is, as painful as it was seeing her go through these times -- it was also my proudest as a mother...because Chavala kept her head up and her eyes on her goals...never letting her determination for what she wanted weaken.  And it's here that you realize that the miracle of life never ceases... because you turn around and realize she is no longer your little girl, but instead a woman now...full of beauty and intelligence, grace and charm (why am I breaking down again -- the weddings' over).

I know when Ben and Chavala become parents themselves, that they too will make the next generation better than themselves.  And I think they may find as I have that, it's never a sacrifice, it's always a privilege and that we never stop wanting the best for our children.

Ben...I've always known that I would never have to question Chavala's choice of a husband.  I know you're a good man --- Chavala has very high standards (the whole crowd buckled with laughter here and I'm still trying to figure it out).. and I know you must be something special to catch those big, beautiful eyes of hers.

I love you honey (to Chavala).

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